You think you have a will, but that is a misconception about your ego. The will as a tangible thing does not exist. You want something at a certain moment after you choose from different wishes. And that choice can change within a short time, perhaps even to the complete opposite.
The memory develops after birth. A baby starts by registering how it should move. From around the age of three, a child can register events which form part of its life story, to be recalled in later life. But emotional events such as traumas are possibly registered much earlier as stray facts. These can elicit reactions, although you can’t retell them.
A lot of people think antidepressants are worthless. Is psychotherapy better than an antidepressant? There is no evidence for this. It seems to me that antidepressants suffer a disadvantage in our perception as compared to psychotherapy, in that their mechanism of action is quite invisible and not instinctively comprehensible.
What is the relation between what the neurologist calls amazing and the psychiatrist paradoxical? Our impression of the world around us is not formed on the basis of what we actually perceive with our senses. Instead, we carry a preexisting image of our surroundings in our head, and we check if that matches with our perceptions. Sometimes this goes awry.